How Did I get here?
Well, ok yes, this is a loaded question with a variety of answers BUT in the terms of how did I get here, to being a twice certified integrative nutrition health coach - let me quickly (ish) break that down for you.
My dad is and both of my grandfathers were doctors. Medicine, health and ailments were always discussed openly in my home. Additionally, while I wouldn’t consider my self a sickly kid when I did get sick, I got SIIIIIIICCCKKKK. I was born three weeks late, via c-section after three days of labor in July. My mom and I moved in with my grandparents because my mom had such bad mastitis she needed constant care for a few weeks. As a small child I pneumonia, scarlet fever (in the 1980s) and a ruptured appendix that was also pointed backwards. I spent 10 days in the hospital at 7 years old with an I.V. and a drainage tube coming out of my hockey stick shaped incision.
None of this, however, inspired me to be a doctor or even pay attention in science class. What I was very focused on by high school was my weight and dieting. I was heavy in early high school and started to lose weight my junior year. In college, I continued to lose weight and maintain a small size while often being praised or at least having it commented upon that I “ could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight”. This has never felt true to me but I loved how that sounded.
In college and during my early 20s in NYC I was focused on acting which then transitioned into my career in fashion. I have always been on top of trends - pop culture, clothing and the latest diet. While I didn’t necessarily always try things like Atkins or South Beach ( I really like fruit you guys) I was definitely educated in the tenants of almost every new diet that was featured in my beloved magazines and books.
As I entered my 30s and the internet and social media continued to evolve so did the accessibility of the diets and food trends. Slowly, you no longer had to buy a $30 book or invest in a set of dvds to learn about a new program. You could go on youtube and get free workouts and google a diet and at least get the basics immediately. The word “wellness” became the hot health buzzword and boutique fitness classes started to pop up all over NYC (not just as a part of a gym membership).
Ok, so I realize that this may feel like I am veering off topic - and I might be, a little. When I was 31 I worked out with two different trainers throughout the course of the year. I ended up losing close to 20lbs and I was able to maintain that weight loss for about 6 years. Yes, I had worked out, but really I had learned how to eat.
In 2016 I got into a relationship that in hindsight I will describe as (putting it mildly) stressful and emotionally volatile. I was also coming off of a very traumatic event involving my former job. My identity as a stylist for a very popular company had disappeared overnight and while I quickly got a new job, I felt very unsettled and unsafe. Also, the landscape of retail and fashion was changing and I didn’t feel like I belonged. My interest in healthy food and wellness was growing everyday and I was starting to find podcasts and community on instagram and facebook to listen to and follow who had interests similar to mine and I felt fulfilled and was learning new things almost daily.
In 2017, I did a Whole30 ( this a very popular 30 day elimination diet, where the focus isn’t weight loss but I definitely lost weight). My relationship was a disaster and I was trying to hide that from everyone around me (spoiler alert - they knew), and suddenly I had a part of my life figured out. I looked “good”, I could buy almost anything and it fit the way I wanted it too, I could eat whenever I wanted ( I have never been great with portion control) and because I wouldn’t eat certain things I kept the weight off. I had been dealing with “disordered eating” since high school so this felt manageable and I WAS HEALTHY. On top of everything, I was trying very hard to set a perfect example for the person I was dating. I convinced myself that I couldn’t critique any of his choices ( food, exercise, lifestyle) if mine weren’t consistently, constantly optimal. In hindsight, it wasn’t a good look. I cringe when I think back to moments, losing my shit over a second soda or trying to manipulate a dinner choice. I think I was called a “shill for kale” and no one was being cute. The reality was I had developed Orthorexia, in response to my chaotic relationship (trust me, our problems weren’t just food related) but also in response to chaos in my life. That relationship ended in early 2018 and I slowly started to relax a little on my stringent food choices.
My family, huge fans of continued education, urged me to take courses in health and nutrition. I constantly said I had no time (it felt like I didn’t). If I had time then I had no money. If I had money then what job could I possibly do with this education anyway?
In August, 2018, I was hit by a car in NYC. I was crossing Houston Street at Bowery and a man turned right and just didn’t see me in the crosswalk. I flew about 8 ft down the street and by some miracle didn’t hit my head or break anything. I truly believe it was the way that I had been eating during the prior 16 months that helped to protect my bones (fuck yeah kale). However, I was very bruised and banged up and generally traumatized. I still have issues (both physical and mental) 2.5 years later but it could have been so much worse. I left my job two weeks later and while it was wonderful and helpful to have that time to heal I quickly learned that accident insurance wasn’t paying for me to talk to someone about my trauma or helping with PT because I wasn’t catastrophically injured. Many doctors wouldn’t see me because I wasn’t referred by the hospital but simply coming in to be assessed post accident.
That said, I could no longer claim that I didn’t have time to take some health and nutrition courses.
So I did just that, first through Cornell University (finally I am an Ivy Leaguer). I did start working again but also realized that I could work and take courses. In November 2019 I started a year long program with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. As of November 2020, I am now a certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach and taking an advanced course so that I become nationally certified in October ’21. I am building a health coaching practice - A Little Pivot- and my hope is to help people with their personal health and wellness goals. I know I said that this would be quick and if you are still reading I really appreciate you. I will save “what is health coaching exactly?” for another day.
“Wherever you go, there you are.”